Once again ive backed into my wall of self-affliction

Bearing the prospects on a life on my own

Smile courteously, dont attract attention

For all purposes sake pay attention to me

Cast out by a quivering smile and a silent cry

A muddled brow and thoughts corrupt with a drink

In a room thats known too many secrets covered with smoke

And I wish to close my eyes and imagine this life as a bad dream

Once again silver laughter makes holes through my skin

And I struggle to fight afloat on the reckless waves of thought

After so many years you begin to wonder what the fights all about

And how many tears that go unnoticed before you give up

I died so long before that suicide seems pointless

As pointless as this next gasp of air to my lungs

Everything I do is calamity so wrongfully accused

But true is tomorrow when i wake lying with you